Banging into Work ~ from inception to realization

here is the step-by-step setup

3days before the day you want off:
~stay up late the night before so you look extra wornout in morning
~make sure to shave
~start the cough at 2pm
~comment to the boss’s favorite coworker that your throat is getting sore (if you are this coworker, you should have enough goodwill garnered to just take the day off anyway, skip directly to sickday)
~mention something in passing to your superiors about a cold going around

2days before the day you want off:
~don’t shave
~arrive on time, looking a little disheveled
~start group discussion about sickness going around the office
~make sure your superior is involved in said conversation
~commence sneezing at desk or in common areas after lunch
~finish more work than usual to set up crucial next day
~stay to the final minute

1day before the day you want off:
~wear bright colors to appear washed out and pale
~don’t shave again and look extra exhausted
~before lunch, remind same coworker that you dropped the hint on 2days ago
~talk about remedies with other coworkers
~after lunch, finish the rest of the weeks work
~nose blowing should start at 1:45
~keep to yourself for the rest of day and warn all coworkers to keep it moving
~tell the supervisor that your head is in a fog but your workload is complete
~take control of situation with supervisor

• start by stating they should keep their distance because you are sick
• with eyes half-opened, alert them that you will be taking the following day off to not infect the rest of the office
• remind them that the weeks work is complete and wait for approval
• comment that you are going to try and sleep it off
• get permission to alert those that need to know electronically that night

~bang into work via email after midnight so you can sleep-in uninterrupted

sickday:
~well, what you do today is up to you. you worked hard to get to this point and having manufactured a sickday, you should enjoy every moment of it.
~Be Warned - this isn’t something that can be done too often because your employer will want you to go see a dr and this will blow your whole operation.
~Disclaimer - if you leave the house to take advantage of your day off, dont go near your office. its your own fault if you get fired for being in a 5mile radius of your office. they will always catch you and I will do nothing but laugh at you for it.

i write this having completed all the necessary tasks and awaiting the end of the day.

postscript: make sure to knock off an hour early, to drive the point home!

~Life is Short, Get into it~