an Invitation to an Open Tryout

let it be known that im holding an open tryout...

Entrants must have own skates, helmet, pads and have Zero concern for Self-Preservation...
im looking for only the Strongest, the Fastest and the Best here... so the Weakest, Slowest and Not-Best need not apply!
what is the Prize for this Amazing opportunity you may be wondering? well, there is no Prize. but let me be clear: there is more Glory at stake than eating Steak, more Grandeur than you can be Delusional about and a chance to have more Pride than a Dwarf among Midgets... in a contest more Ridiculous than a grown man with a Mohawk!

and I give you Crashed Ice

Tryouts start promptly at Midnight on the steepest hill in your town...

~Life is Short, Get into it~

Cough, Cough, Cough

its seems that every day there is a different person on the bus with either a cold or the flu...

they always end up sitting near me and then they begin coughing their germs right on me... you filthy Animals, Cover your Mouths when you are hacking up LungButter in Public! if you are that sick, please stay home, i really dont want what you have...

the guy today started up what sounded like a fake cough, then exited the bus, folded his hands behind him, leaned over at the waist and commenced to drop a continuous line of drool during his coughing fit... i got a great look at this string of Grotesque because the bus was at that stop for what seemed like an Eternity... the whole time the drool is glistening in the Sunlight... and the longer we were there, the more this guy convulsed and the more he shook, the more he drooled... i wasnt sure if i should vomit or call 911... finally, the bus departs and the Drooler is left to his devices in a cloud of exhaust!

it went a little like this (minus the whole smoking thing)

man, i hate the bus!

~Life is Short, Get into it~

Holy $hit Brett!

i just came across this and figured you would laugh as hard as i did at it! get some headphones or turn down the speakers...

~life is short, skip the crab legs~